Children’s fears tend to manifest themselves as mythical creatures: monsters, dragons, and witches. Adults I coach bring up fears around careers, responsibilities, and life choices.
Different labels, equally scary figures.
What are we so afraid of?
Fear is useful
If we look at it through the biological lens, we might fear we won’t survive. All of the ‘am I good enough’ fears are rooted in survival mechanisms from our ancestors.
If I can’t hunt for food, find shelter, or escape a tiger ambush — I will perish.
We are still here, yet we dread the career change or a making a decision.
What makes this one different from all the tigers I’ve overcome in the past?
It can also limit you
My preferred way of looking at fear is around freedom of choice. As a human being, I have free will (or so I believe!) and should be able to freely choose my life within the parameters of my area of influence, right?
Well… let’s simplify the situation and agree to it.
Then, if what I’m afraid of lives on the right, I’m no longer free to choose a direction to go.
Why? Because I will go EVERYWHERE but to the right. It’s like standing with the wall behind you — limited, pressured, and stuck.
A new perspective
This lens helps me find courage to face my fears as I refuse to be even more limited around my choices and options.
In short, I’ve changed my mindset about fear.
I might not enjoy what’s living in the place of fear, but let’s at least take a look.
What if it’s a shadow on a wall and not a monster living underneath a child’s bed?
What in you is fear-bound, and more importantly, how does that limit your choices?
Maybe a bit of collaborative decision making could help? I’ve shared how I fell in love with the idea of working through these issues together here.
